How to Break Free from Self-Criticism : Understanding and Healing Your Inner Critic

You know that inner voice that criticises everything you do? The "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts," the constant comparisons, the self-judgment, and the blame? This voice is your superego.

The Birth of Your Inner Critic or Superego

Your superego was born when you were a young child, roughly between 2 years old and 5 years old. At that time, your survival depended on being cared for. You couldn’t meet your own needs, and any hint of rejection or disapproval from your caretakers felt like a life-or-death situation. To avoid being scolded and potentially losing this vital connection, you internalised the injections and criticisms from your environment so that you could adapt your behaviour. Listening to all the people who had power over you - your parents, but maybe also some teachers and other carers - you accumulated their injonctions ("be quiet!", "don't run", "you should never be proud of yourself", "boys don't cry", "little girls should be agreeable", etc.). This became material to create an idealised image of the Good Girl or the Good Boy you should be. From here, the Inner Critic's job has been to make sure you stayed as close as possible of this description. To do that, it may shame you, criticize you, even call you name and attack you each time you have an impulse that differs from the Good Girl / Good Boy's behaviour. Notice that while for some people, the inner critic has indeed a voice inside their head, for others it may show primarily through feelings of shame, worthlessness, embarrassment, failure, etc.

It might also be worth observing that developing a superego is in itself an important step in the development of the child: for the first time, some consideration for other people's reactions enter their decision process and they cease to blindly act on all of their impulses. It is part of a normal development. However, fully identifying with the Inner Critic creates a lot of self-hate and shame which cause a lot of harm and may be a major obstacle to authenticity.

The Impact of Your Inner Critic on Your Energetic System & on your Creativity

Left unchecked, the consciousness of the superego often tightens the 3rd level of the field related to your mental structure. This constriction prevents the flow of your ideas but also creates stagnation and imbalances in other levels. Your emotional levels and your relationships (2nd and 4th levels in particular) suffer from this, and altogether this can lead to increased frustration and rage leaking in other areas of your life, numbness, collapse, or depression, depending on your personality pattern.

Over time, the Inner Critic participates in making your Essence difficult to tune in and make you identify with your Idealised self rather than with your true creative nature. This can be quite painful and deprive you from the joy and pleasure of your natural creative flow.

Unless you consciously catch yourself.

There are various ways to do this. The tips I’ve shared can help you drop your awareness to deeper dimensions of yourself—like your hara line or your essence. This practice will help rebalance your energy field and return to your true expression more easily.

How to Begin the Healing Process of your Critic

1. Identify your Inner Critic

When you start feeling down, when you give up, or when you self-censor, take a moment to pause. Notice what story your inner voice is telling you.

It’s a story you do NOT have to believe. Often, your thoughts do not reflect your deeper truth.

Question the narrative. Seek your truth. There is a deeper consciousness within you that can emerge when you become quiet and still.

2. Make a little step on the side: coming back to your true self

Ask your wisdom, ask your heart, ask your essence.

Listen to the gentle voice that arises from the silence.

If this feels challenging, try taking the story from your inner critic and substituting "I" with your best friend's name.

What happens inside you? Do you feel the urge to protect them and contradict the voice? How do you feel about yourself upon receiving this message? Can you extend the same compassion to yourself?

It takes practice. But the more you engage in this exercise, even partially, the more you strengthen your psycho-energetic muscle. You reclaim your creative power from your superego.

Let me know how these insights resonate with you. And if you find yourself struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out for support.